so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
