remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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