I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There's always time for handjobs
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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