that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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