forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
