On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
