Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
