So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
