Christians are straight up FREAKS
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
