Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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