Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
