I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this just has baby written all over it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
