so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
