Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
