you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
