I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
