no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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