Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
