i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
