She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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