This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
