who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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