At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
