I'm lost and stupid without you.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
