he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
