I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
