Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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