Your tits are I can't wait for
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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