She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Let's paint friendship bongs
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
