The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
