Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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