dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize