So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
please don't ironically join a cult
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