The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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