A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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