They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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