Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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