and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
