I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
