he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
