We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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