where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
