put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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