8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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