Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
