Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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