Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
