It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
being pregnant is like rehab
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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