Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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