Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
These tits shall not be calmed
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
